Starting school and daycare: an emotional journey for children, babies, and families.
September marks a deeply emotional time of transition for many families. For countless children—especially those starting preschool or moving to a new stage—beginning school can spark a mix of excitement and anxiety. On one hand, there’s the desire to play and meet new friends. On the other, the fear of the unknown, of being apart from home, of facing an environment with different rules.
Understanding what children and babies feel during this new beginning—as well as recognizing our own emotions as mothers and fathers—can make the difference between a difficult start and a gentle, secure adjustment.
From a psychological point of view, this is part of a natural process: school adaptation. It’s not just a change of space, but a shift in emotional dynamics. The child moves from a safe, predictable environment (home) to a broader one, where they must build new emotional bonds with teachers, classmates, and social norms.
Some typical signs during this process include:
- Morning tears or resistance
- Changes in appetite or sleep
- Irritability after returning home
- A stronger need for closeness in the first few days
All of this is to be expected. What matters most is validating their emotions, showing empathy, and supporting them without minimizing their experience: “It’s okay to feel sad—I’m going to miss you too.” Adults are often tempted to say “It’s nothing,” but it is something: the child is learning how to separate, to trust others, to grow.
Daycare: The first real separation
When a baby starts daycare, they do so without fully understanding why. Their world is still sensory, emotional, based on presence and physical connection. That’s why, from a psychological perspective, entering daycare is often their first major experience of separation.
While many babies adjust quickly, it’s essential to understand that their crying is not a rejection of the place or the caregivers—it’s a natural response rooted in attachment. Crying says: “I need you here. This is new to me.” And that message needs to be heard, not corrected.
Some key recommendations for this stage:
- Gradual adaptation: If possible, easing into daycare with short visits helps the baby associate the space with a safe experience.
- Transitional objects: Bringing a familiar blanket or stuffed animal from home can serve as an emotional bridge.
- Consistent goodbye rituals: Though it may seem easier to slip away unnoticed, it’s better to say goodbye calmly—even if it’s hard. This builds long-term trust.
- Trust in caregivers: When adults trust the people receiving their baby, that confidence is transferred to the child.
The adult also says goodbye
It’s not just children and babies who feel the shift. Adults experience this beginning with a cocktail of emotions: pride, fear, relief, guilt. For parents of babies, there’s often the sense of “leaving them too soon.” For those with older children, the bittersweet sadness of seeing them grow so fast can be quiet, yet powerful.
Psychology reminds us: there’s no single “right” way to feel. What matters is allowing ourselves to feel it all—without judgment—and to speak about it. Sharing these emotions with other parents, teachers, or even mental health professionals can help us release guilt and strengthen our emotional connections.
The power of bond and routine in the school
Whether it’s school or daycare, what most supports a child emotionally is the security of attachment. Knowing that mom or dad will return, that there’s a rhythm to the day, that each moment has a reliable structure—this offers stability.
A valuable practice is to create daily rituals of connection: a calm breakfast, a story when they come home, a comforting phrase repeated before parting ways. These simple gestures act as emotional compasses for children.
At Mac Ilusión, we accompany you on this journey with tenderness and empathy. Because growing up, in the end, is learning how to separate—without ever stopping being connected.
Starting school and daycare: An emotional journey forchildren, babies, and families
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